I KNEW IT! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BLOGGED ABOUT THIS BEFORE SHE STRUCK! NOW IT ONLY SOUNDS LIKE I’M BITCHING!
Before her arrival it had crossed my mind how I no longer had my dad to be that buffer between us. Sure we are best of friends, but we do have our moments when we become night and day (I call her my sparing partner and say that off all her 3 children, I am the only one that has the right to give her pure hell)….but that’s where my old man always came in. Not literally though! Just the thought of him always brought back a sense of reasoning or relief during our quarrels. I would tell myself that it was only a matter of time before her focus returned to “her dear Kadiri” (my dad).
Yes, Papa was my mom’s MAJOR hobby; Her distraction; Her big baby!… Now he’s gone she has all the time on her hands to be my mom; my friend and MY MOTHER (…that’s when we don’t see eye to eye!) … and she presently gets to do all this at close range, AS MY ROOMMATE…..
If you’ve ever shared a room with someone then you know how it is. In some cases you share Everything! the bed, bathroom, the lights…. I call it the “Mi casa, su casa Syndrome”… Its the natural course of things, but not with a Mom! When she turns “MOTHER”, She wants to share other things such as your LIFE; she tries to tell you how to dress, who you should see; She wants to know what you are doing, when you get back and reasons why you got in so late; She wants you to smile even after a hard talking to… All that and a whole lot more…..
I guess it comes with her job. A good friend once told me that its a mother’s job to worry about and for her children. That’s sweet and all, but I think it losses its charm when she begins to encroach on the lives of her adult kids….
As children we warm up to the fear our mothers have for us; it makes us feel safe and loved. Then we get older, and we feel mommie can stop being afraid now, we can take it from here… but some moms just don’t know when to call it quits. They still want that little boy or girl that will run into their arms once there is a grazed knee; That child that hangs on to every word mommie says; That child still full of innocence and oblivious of negative emotions brought on by this world.
The beautiful thing about a mother is that if she could, she would shield her babies from every single harm there is in this world even until death…. but sadly, that’s not part of her portfolio.
I know my Mommie for one would prefer for me to leave life through her eyes and by her standards (most of them good) but I can’t. I have to make my own mistakes. She can only offer her advice, while I as the horse that she has taken to the river will choose whether to drink or not, but no amount of bickering will force a change on an almost 30 year old CHILD like myself.
…SHE DIDN”T EVEN GIVE ME A HEAD START! It took her less than 24hours after her arrival to Lag. to assume the role of “MOTHER” ….
The 100% success of any GOOD Roomie relationship is mutual respect for each others space and personal boundaries…. but that can only happen when one of the persons is NOT your Mom… because she will always find a way round becoming your “MOTHER”.
…So I guess I’ll have to go with maybe a 50-60% success rate….
Love you loads Mama! xxxxxxx