Roller Coaster Ride

Stop the earth from quaking
My vision shaking
Heavy breaths I’m taking
As in an orgasm faking

Breathe!
Breathe!
Breathe!
BBRrrrreathe!

No I’m not in labor
Only in need of a savior
O my seat be still!
Please save me from the maddening thrill!

Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Ex…ย  Aww shh…!

Now I’ve got goo on my shoe
Sorryย  I barfed all over you
Still swooning through and through
My body considering a part two

Breathe!
Inhale
Breathe!
Exhale
Brrrrreathe!

Eyes shut tight
Fits of laughter …that’s me screaming
Locked in my vision of night
Praying for the world to quit spinning

Inhale
Breathe!
Exhale
Breathe!
Inhale-Exhale!

Heavy breathing
My blood feverishly seething
Fun drawing to an end and I seek a go at it again
So Panic, …did I pretend?

…Still breathing…

Atmosphere, that’s what its all about tonight at the dVerse bar. I hoped to draw the reader into a world of excitement with this piece… Did it work?! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cheers! ๐Ÿ™‚

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10 comments on “Roller Coaster Ride

  1. great use of end rhymes and short lines to set the pace in this…then releasing it for the breathing…and there is no faking allowed in my house…of course there is no need either…hahahaha…you got your roller coaster going on…well done..

  2. The rhymes and rhythm set up an effective contrast to the punctuated breaths that build a sense of excitement. The short, crisp lines also contribute to the overall mood. The almost curse, the ellipsis, and exclamation points also convey the highs and fright, the dropping stomach of a roller-coaster. The synesthesia works well and you have very successfully created an atmosphere.

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